Book 5, 44: Not Woola

Woola the calot, and some guy who forgot to wear clothes today. Which, to be fair, is true to the John Carter books, except you're never clear just how naked is naked in those old books.

Book 5, 43: The Scary Tree

Remember long ago, when Mockingjay, Part One was released (Christmas, 2014, if ancient history isn't your strong suit), and its album included a suprise number recorded by Jennifer Lawrence?

"Across the board, the songs sound like threads of hope escaping gloomier pasts." For "Millennials," it was getting some serious traction by the end of April of 2015, and caught the spirit of much of the year to come. 

But, oh well, "Buy this magazine or we'll shoot this dog works, too."

Book 5, 42: Ancient History

Warehouse 13.

The world is full of warehouses of ancient mysteries; but the contents aren't weird statuettes and bits of bling. They're documents, manuscripts, tablets, photographs, rubbings, tapes, inscriptions --things written, and full of facts, and never yet read by anyone.

Sure, you can't read a receipt book and be taken over by a mysterious, dark entity, but, in some ways, these old documents can get you into far more trouble than--

Wait. That's stupid. Forget I said it. Getting possessed by an ancient, malevolent entity is way worse than reading something and not realising its implications until it's way too late.

Book 5, 41: Digging For Answers

A one an'

an a two

I'm going with a Community reference because I'm old enough to remember the Seventies and I am not going to do anything that might be perceived as endorsing Journey. 

Book 5, 40: Red Shoes, Blue God

The original disco super-person. Chokers are back (although I haven't seen any inch-wide ones made of tinfoil yet), but not the eye-makeup. At least, not yet.

Book 5, 39: Bridesmaid Revisited

 Cheongsam with boots.

Source

Book 5, Chapter 38: Sidekick to a Spirit Quest

Sometimes, we're the hero in our own story, and sometimes we have to be the sidekicks in someone else's. Doesn't mean you can't use the dress again, later!

A wedding is about the bride, so no matter what the bridesmaid's dress looks like, you just nod and smile. But not when she tells you that "You'll be able to wear it again for something else." If you want to make that joke, you need to, I don't know, go to the basement of the CIA headquarters to make it.

Or post the pictures on the Internet.

Book 5, 37: When Your Breakfast Smells of Hand Grenades

I had a specific example in mind, but let's just enjoy a compilation video instead.

Also, Clark speaks Chinese. Hunh? Hunh? Learning languages is hard. For example, French-English, pomegranate-hand grenade.

Book 5, 36: A Long Time Dreaming

On the ancient ramparts of the last city of a dying species on a dying planet, the last boy walks, and wonders. It's a great setup, although I'm not sure how you deliver on it.

And from the soundtrack of The Martian. . . 

Book 5, 35: He Will Go No More A-Wandering

Home is the hunter.

By DC Comics, Fair use, https://en.wikipedia.org/w/index.php?curid=18299786

People have weird hairdos in the Future. The character was introduced in 1964, so he didn't start out as a Wolverine imitation, but I think the hair of the class 70s Legion incarnation speaks for itself. Too bad, because if Wolverine's so cool, why did he spend 35 years in high school?

Book 5, 34: Old Red Planet

"Torte." So, cake.

Canada Day: Off from 1 am Thursday to 7 Saturday.

Book 5, 33: Deal

He seems a little, I don't know, too cocky. Also, dumb. Lois is smart.

And then sometimes this happens.

Let's see you talk your way out of this one, Kal-El.

Book 5, 32: Drop the Mic or Whatever

Book 5, 31: That Agent Elrond Moment When

The title is a reference to the fact that the same actor plays very different roles in Lord of the Rings and The Matrix. I was going to expand on that before I got to writing, and realised that I was riffing on this:

Source

If you don't know what it's on about, it's a creator-produced fantasy comic book of the late 70s about primitive elves who hang out with wolves and have adventures. Like, for example, Bone, it goes on to resolve its conflicts and explain its background well after the initial creative impulse is lost, so it seems more like a daydream than a story, not that there's anything wrong with that.

Book 5, 30: Built of Bones

Phoenix stance.

Book 5, 29: Damsels in Distress

The Pale Cathedral

Book 5, 28: Not an Orphanage

Book 5, 27: Master Bruce

So that was what was cool forty years ago. (Not as cool as Cyndi Lauper, but Madonna had more staying power, for whatever reason.) I image searched some modern bangles, and you can do the same if you want. I like them better. Progress! But, on the other hand, our bangles back then were more important. There was a band, even.

Book 5, 26: Embarrassing as Hell

Not the dress. But, you know what? Forget that and admire. Source.

Book 5, 25: Flux Capacitor!

It seemed like a pretty trippy book when I read it as a kid, but the extract in the Wikipedia article is blech. Speaking of old science fiction and wiki, here's the article about Bussard ramjets. 

Monkey Tree.

Book 5, 24: Just a Dream?

Free associating a bit.

Just heard this song referenced as a joke. Like, someone makes a geography mistake and you say, "Don't know much about geography."

Maybe pay more attention to the lyrics?

Also, Harrison Ford does a surprisingly good dumb and dumberer in screencaps, doesn't he?

Book 5, 23: Be Prepared

The look for today is apparently an All Saints Cropped Leather Biker Jacket. (Also known as, "that thing jacket Skye (I think-- no Daisy haircut yet--) was wearing on Agents of Shield.")

Today's old-person musical reference:

I assume everyone's heard the original. This is the same year that he had a hit with "Mack the Knife" btw

Book 5, 22: Slimy Tentacles: A Post Valentine’s Review

Of course people ride their bikes in Philadelphia in January. You know, the crazy people!

And because Charlotte references it, and you know the kids today, with their unironic love of 70s pop.

ook 5, Chapter 21: Aniconic

Chain mail bikini

Chainmail bikini fashions from Utopia-Armoury

I think this is post-exploitation. Not sure, though. Could be back around to exploitation. But it would be strange to have non-representational art here.

Book 5, Chapter 20, In Vale The Air is Thin

I'm sure I'm not the only one who thinks that Monty Python and the Holy Grail is funny, but that quoting the best bits stopped being funny a long time ago. Sometimes, you've just got to get a new joke.

From Leah Quincy Creates, although as far as I get the Tumblr stuff, it's someone else's costume.

All hail the glow cloud!

Book 5, Chapter 19, Second Sword

Let's hear it for every boring, generic motel. People who aren't on expense accounts have to sleep somewhere. 

In Sacramento, I'm told.